I really dislike this pointless picture I just can't get rid of it what I really want to say is just that I lay on the floor just because I felt tired very tired. It was comfortable those coloured mats I don't think anyone cared really there weren't too many people around anyway. That women seemed fascinated when I changed the baby over there. I thought I am white trash even though I am not I quiet enjoyed pretending it for a minute or two so I tuned out my screaming son he was being wild and jumping on the coloured soft kids things over there. I don't even know why I went to the mall oh yes, I wanted to buy a hat because I felt pathetic for looking dumpy and depressing just because its so bloody freezing for god's sakes I didn't even get out of pajamas that day and I mean all day even in the mall I just had on a depressing puffy coat that I hate because the sleeves are too short and i feel fat and fifteen in it. Anyway because I saw this girl and other people with nice red hats on and coats with belts and scarves and they look nice even though it's cold so why can't I. Then maybe things will just be a bit better. But there were no hats and we looked in like fifteen stores for gloves for my son because he thinks its going to snow. And they are girls gloves and turquoise but he looks very beautiful in the matching hat and scarf. anyway we made a scene all over the place as usual that's when I really feel like trash when people stare because I have to grab him and try get him not to scream or cry or pull me in the other direction or push the baby carriage into some weird people. He actually did a cute thing and made me bend down so he could ask me a thing he was thinking. If I was wearing clothes or pajamas its cute I mean he's only four I guess he realised when he was watching me try on those copper high heeled boots I thought it would be nice just to buy something elegant that I could wear on he week-end. Oh yes that one girl was staring at me by the kids playing thing quiet openly actually wow did that make me feel like a crazy spectacle. She kept saying Perla to her child which was quiet annoying so I said sure and thank you in a very South African accent I guess it just suited the moment. The juice was nice orange and strawberry and orange and pineapple and kiwi and then I did buy some other boots in the end. In the car he asked me why I nearly went home without him so I just said it's a trick that parents do and isn't it a good trick because the children always come and he thought about that for a while and then he said his favourite part in the mall was the gloves and hat and scarf that we got. We were having supper he said remember yesterday we had a rough day so I said no that was today remember when the cornflakes and spilled and I shouted and you cried because he meant today. He was right it was a rough day but tomorrow we will try again and for now he is sleeping with his hat and gloves but not the scarf because he said its not so comfortable.
