Memories I have are event-less
Rather eight-year-old thoughts
Feelings and silence
The darkness of my bedroom at night
And the state of my young mind.
.That If I could be anyone
I'd be Alanis Morissette
That I spent countless teen-age afternoons
Smoking cigarettes on my roof
And the view of my street from up there
Is still the most beautiful I have ever seen
I have watched my life
Like I'm a ghost, my hands move without me.
My hero might sometimes be Rebbetzin Heller
And alternately indisputably Johnny Depp.
My most favourite character in Tanach
Is Rachav
That I've been diagnosed as BPD, OCD and Depressive
And that happy pills do work
My favourite movie is The Hours
But then again- it might be Mall Rats
I enjoy K'nesher and Shikira equally
Joni Mitchell, Red Hot Chilli Peppers
And every artist in between
I've been described as a constant acid trip
( And don't disagree)
If I told you
There are many many people I love deeply
Though I'm not sure what love is
When I look in the mirror
The love and hate that I feel simultaneously
Is completely overwhelming
That I don't ever recall having
A single honest dream or goal
I feel that I might have
Written a Million Little Pieces myself
That I've written for so many hours
That before I knew it, it was morning
And time for school
That I could never live without
Showering twice daily
And wearing sunglasses regardless of the weather
What would you say if you could sit in my head for a day? How I wish someone would..
Rather eight-year-old thoughts
Feelings and silence
The darkness of my bedroom at night
And the state of my young mind.
.That If I could be anyone
I'd be Alanis Morissette
That I spent countless teen-age afternoons
Smoking cigarettes on my roof
And the view of my street from up there
Is still the most beautiful I have ever seen
I have watched my life
Like I'm a ghost, my hands move without me.
My hero might sometimes be Rebbetzin Heller
And alternately indisputably Johnny Depp.
My most favourite character in Tanach
Is Rachav
That I've been diagnosed as BPD, OCD and Depressive
And that happy pills do work
My favourite movie is The Hours
But then again- it might be Mall Rats
I enjoy K'nesher and Shikira equally
Joni Mitchell, Red Hot Chilli Peppers
And every artist in between
I've been described as a constant acid trip
( And don't disagree)
If I told you
There are many many people I love deeply
Though I'm not sure what love is
When I look in the mirror
The love and hate that I feel simultaneously
Is completely overwhelming
That I don't ever recall having
A single honest dream or goal
I feel that I might have
Written a Million Little Pieces myself
That I've written for so many hours
That before I knew it, it was morning
And time for school
That I could never live without
Showering twice daily
And wearing sunglasses regardless of the weather
What would you say if you could sit in my head for a day? How I wish someone would..
6 comments:
wow
powerful
intense
honest...
a deep and great neshoma
beautiful poem, I would be scared as hell for someone to sit in my head for a day!lol
If you told me all those things.....I would believe you.
If you told me all those things.....I would tell you you aren't alone.
If you told me all those things.....I would pray you find the strength to overcome adversity.
If you told me all those things.....I would tell you to hold on to the hope of a better tomorrow.
If you told me all those things.....I would convince you that you are more normal than you believe yourself to be.
If you told me all those things.....I would tell you that this post is powerful indeed.
If you told me all those things.....I would wish you good luck!
You sound like a 15 year old.
Poor shayfele.
it goes away eventually, just try your best to stick to the standard rules that those older have hacked out and honestly believe to be best.
And one day you will the one to make the new rules.....
Thank you for all the feedback :)
Yingerman - although I must admit, I feel slightly patronised- I think in a way we are all two ages-our real age and a place we might have gotten stuck at.... And yes there is something to be said of the tried and tested methods to achieve sanity!
But
PS: Don't take me so seriously, it's called poetic license!
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